There haven’t been many years in my life where I have felt some kind of ‘looking forward’ sensation about the new year. This time around, however, was different.
Since finishing University in May last year and then finally graduating in November, I have let a lot of things slip. In life, the things that are necessities, the things that we maybe have to do but might not want to do, they have a tendency to take over our world, to consume us. And what comes from this? Stress, dissatisfaction, lack of fulfillment, anxiety, a kind of numbness even, a never ending plod through the days of sameness. For myself and many others, who are creatively inclined it really does start to drain the life out of you. With no output of creativity in the past five or six months I feel like I have lost a part of myself, like I’m floating away from who I am, desperately trying to swim back to what makes me happy, what I actually want to do; but to no avail.
So, this year I have made a list. Yes an actual new years list. And it’s not all hard things, one of them that I most recently ticked off was just getting my hair cut, booking tickets to go and see my dear friend Hannah who is living in Barcelona. Yes in amongst these slightly more trivial/lighthearted tasks there are more frightening ones, but funnily enough, after years of scoffing at new years resolutions, people who make lists etc. it actually really helped getting it down on paper (in my brand new diary for 2017, the purchase of which was on a virtual list for this year).
More than anything I guess the thing I have realised is that people, myself included, just don’t do enough things daily/weekly that truly make them happy. We get so caught up in doing the things we have to do, that we don’t do anything we want to do. We worry so much about money, about time, about pointless aspects of our lives and it leaves so little space for us to actually be happy. So we allocate space, maybe once a year, a holiday maybe, a spa treatment, Christmas even. And what happens when we can’t just automatically be happy during that allocated time? We get disappointed in ourselves, we wonder, why isn’t this making me happy? Or, happy enough. So here it is, more of an all round aim for this year: do more things to make you happy. I’m going to really try and do it. Starting with finally realistically writing more often, and posting on here more often, even if it is content such as this.
Watch this space.